Sunday, October 12, 2008

Pink Polyester Lifelines...Oh, The Horror!

If you were one of the fifty people rubber-necking at us on Lackland Road yesterday, then you can tune out; go read something else. If you are wondering why two parents walking with the two toddlers on an early fall day could almost cause car accidents, I guess I’ll have to tell you…

We had the girls on leashes.

Okay…lifelines. Whatever. Sugar coat it with politically correct names, but it won’t change the fact that a harness around the waist of a child, with a polyester strap leading to my hand, is a human leash.

I can already hear the collective gasp; how inhumane!

The only thing that made me gasp was the price of these simple gadgets. Fifteen dollars! Each! If I would’ve opened the box while standing in Babies R’ Us, I surely would have put them back and went next door to the pet aisle at Wal-mart, and purchased the components for homemade baby leashes at a fraction of the cost. I’m sure I could’ve even got them in pink. Once I was home though, it wasn’t worth twenty bucks and the expended energy to go back to BRU, then to Wally world, and then home to create my ‘lifelines’. No thanks. It’s like making your own baby food…saving a little cash isn’t always worth the aggravation.

So, why does a women with two arms need to leash her child? Because I only have two arms…but I have two babies…and they are fast (the babies—not my arms). And rarely are they traveling in the same direction.

They are plum sick of being strapped into a stroller; at 22 months they love to walk, fall down, and overall explore God’s creation. I cannot fight their instinct for independence; but for safety and sanity’s sake, it must be controlled…harnessed if you will.

There are also many places that a double stroller is just too cumbersome. For instance—church. Our church is a frillion years old, in the city, with on street parking. Imagine me getting Abby out of her car seat, and then going around the vehicle to retrieve Reagan…what do I do with the Abby? Evil SUV’s and the boogeyman are lurking out there, and even though they may chew on their leashes like canines, they have not mastered the command to ‘stay’. Tethering her to my waist seems like a better option than watching her try to hail a cab while I fumble with Reagan’s asinine car seat straps.

Reactions have been mixed concerning the ‘leashes’, but honestly, the rubbernecking and whispers don’t bother me. Walk a mile in my shoes. Chasing their size five Buster Brown’s.

Admit it…you’d leash em’ too!


  1. Absolutely NOT inhumane! It's called "survival," my dear. I will admit that I bought one of them (in blue, as it was for my SON), but never used it. Of course, I was only dealing with one at a time. I think it may still be in the diaper bag.
    SO glad to see you're blogging over here. Looking forward to keeping up :)

  2. ROFL
    I'm hooked! My husband traveled from the US to Germany on a leash--his poor mom had 5 boys to haul, single handedly because her husband was a serviceman and already there. LoL--leashes are a life saver!!

    Oh, and save them! I converted ours into scuba diving leashes. Honest!

    I loooooove your header picture--it was an insant laugh for me! *wink*

  3. Gotta echo the comment on the header picture. I think it's the first time a blog header ever made me laugh aloud.
    I had a "leash" for my son when he was older than that. He is autistic/ADD/bipolar, and at 2 years old was not manageable. Especially not with a preschooler and an infant to manage as well. A few people glared at me, but most were fine with it.

    Don't worry about those glares, my dear. You're doing the right thing!

  4. Oh man, until someone has tried to take care of twins, I don't think anyone has any right to even look at you cross-eyed. :) Maybe they were just oggling because you all are such a cute family? Yes? LOL. Maybe.

  5. I leashed my children and by the time my youngest came along I was a pro at it. One time I was busy at a community event and my ADHD toddler was pulling at the leash (only attached at the wrist , not a harness). I pretended to tie it to a stop sign, sat him in the gravel with a little toy truck and was free of the constant pulling. He sat and played contented and didnt even realize he wasn't attached to the stop sign.

    Welcome to the blog world!

  6. Chely - I DID use a harness and my "baby" is now 24 and working on his Ph.D. So, no harm was done to his psyche! Carry on caring for your little lovlies the way YOU see fit. You answer to no one but the Lord above when all is said and done.